Wow, life is really getting complicated. I am so indecisive and confused. I also feel so alone. I know that I brought it on myself but that still doesn't change how I feel. I have been praying for guidance but I don't seem to be getting it. Everyone in Wisconsin says that I should stay here. Everyone in Nebraska says that I should go there. I am so torn because I don't want to let anyone down but I can't make a decision without hurting someone. Then on top of it all, I am still dealing with a broken heart and it hurts so bad. Some days are good, I only cry maybe twice. Others suck because all I do is cry. I gave all of myself to him and he just didn't seem to care. He broke my spirit and crushed my ability to believe in myself. Then he told me that it was never meant to happen because he had loved someone else all along. I feel small and insignificant. He still calls though all the time and I can't seem to hang up the phone. I am still sucked into this twisted mess and I want so desparately to get out but I just don't see how I can. I still want to talk to him for some stupid reason. I want to make him feel better while all the while he is crushing me a little more each day. He is being sweet to me now. Telling me he is sorry and I don't deserve to be treated the way he treated me. He just doesn't get that he is breaking my heart. I know you think I am stupid because I won't just end the whole thing but I just can't do it on my own. I am so afriaid that if I somehow let myself get away then I will be truly alone. I am so so tired of all the pain.